Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Calling My Own Bluff

For a very long time, I have fantasised about a writing desk with a view of the sea. I love being by the sea, it calms and inspires me.

I also love holidays. My Paramour, however, is something of a stay-at-home chap. This causes friction at times. I've been working on finding friends to go away with, and have had some success, but more promises for next year than commitments for this summer.

I need some space to work on my novel. I'm longing for a holiday. I fantasise about a sea view for my writing space. I began to think there might be some synergy here.

So I've decided, for the first time in my life, to go on holiday by myself. For most of the second and third weeks of June, I'll be staying in the second floor flat of a house in a village on the north Devon coast which has a little table in a big window with a good view of the bay. (In fact it's a bay window. Har Har!!) I thought about going abroad, and made some enquiries, but in the end I decided to stick to a familiar country for my first solo holiday. I don't know north Devon at all, and the village where I'll be staying is in an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty, so I'm hoping to do some walking and exploring as well as writing. The coast path runs a few metres from the door of the house I'll be staying in, so that should help (weather permitting).

I'm also hoping my Paramour will come and join me for a couple of days at some point - particularly as my birthday falls in those two weeks. He doesn't like committing himself, though, so I'm just dropping heavy and regular hints, and keeping my fingers crossed. In fact, if anyone knows of any tried-and-tested arguments or strategies for persuading men to do things they think they don't want to do but in fact would like when they got there, please pass them on in the comments box!

16 comments:

Bernadette said...

Sounds like a great holiday. I hope you have a fab time.

I always find that good old-fashioned bribery works best with husbands - "I'd really like you to do x. It would make me really happy AND if you do this teensy little thing for me I promise not to complain if you want to (insert sporting or other activity of choice)". Make sure it's something you can stand to follow up on though!

JJ Beattie said...

Oh that sounds absolutely perfect - I'm already looking forward to seeing the photos. (I have to confess that I love going away on my own...)

Carol and Chris said...

That sounds absolutely fantastic!! I love spending time on my own doing exactly what I want to (although I have never actually gone on holiday by myself)

I think Bernadette's suggestion is a good un for making husbands do what they don't want to do!!

C x

HelenMHunt said...

I've taken a week off work at the end of June/beginning of July to try to complete the novel. I can't afford to go away so I'm going to have to find a way of staying at home and not being distracted by other things. Being happily divorced, I have no idea how to persuade men to do anything :)

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

Ooh ooh ooh that sounds soooooo lovely. I've done this myself a few times, and it's a lovely thing to do. I have very fond memories of my weeks spent in remote mountaintop cottages, just me and my writing. And sometimes a dog. And lots of chocolate. When my baby gets a bit older, I'll hopefully start doing that again.

Queenie said...

Bernadette: bribery sounds good, trouble is he never wants to do anything that I mind about in the first place!
JJ: I confess I'm a little apprehensive, which is odd really as I enjoyed living alone. I think it just feels weird after 45 years of holidaying with other people. But I have a suspicion I could get used to it. And BTW you are now officially my role model!
Helen: best of luck with that. I think if I lived alone and didn't work from home, I could probably manage fine without going away.
BS: good to know it worked for you, and yes, I will be packing chocolate (just in case there aren't any shops in Devon, or there are but they don't sell chocolate)

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

"just in case there aren't any shops in Devon, or there are but they don't sell chocolate"

LOL!

Shane said...

The trip itself sounds like it could be the source of creative output, as much as being a device for completing for a predetermined writing task. I know what I mean.

Bernadette said...

Ah well, that's where you're going wrong. You may not actually mind anything he does, but does he need to know that?

(I sound like a horrible wife now!)

Tam said...

Good for you, sounds fabulous :-) Good luck persuading Mr Queenie. I find the direct approach works best - hints just bounce off my husband's thick skin :-)

Queenie said...

Ooh, Bernadette, good point! I'm clearly not a sufficiently crafty thinker for this relationship business. Must try harder...
Tam, you know what, I think you could have hit a nail on its head right there.

Karen said...

That sounds lovely - I might come with you :o)

We haven't had a holiday for a couple of years now, and I'm craving one!

SpiralSkies said...

I should drag you to Jersey with me in August...

you can watch the tide come in on what was my local beach here:

http://212.9.30.37:8080/CgiStart?page=Single&Language=0

(Sorry, no idea how to do fancy linkage.)

womagwriter said...

North Devon's wonderful, you will love it. My brother lives in Barnstaple, so I know the area well. As for the Paramour, could you make a deal where you do your thing this year, and his thing next year?

Queenie said...

Karen, I'll pop you in my rucksack.
Spiral, I wouldn't need dragging, that beach looks like my kind of beach.
Womag, that's encouraging, thank you. And good idea, except I think that's the basis he's working on, as in, we did my thing last year, so now he wants to do his thing, i.e. stay at home. Which is not, in my opinion, any kind of a thing at all. Sadly, however, he seems to think he has something called 'rights'...

PI said...

As you know we have just returned from a favourite place and before we unpacked I checked and found the cottage was booked up till the second 2 weeks in October.
Cue working on MTL to book for our autumn break whilst it is still possible. MTL reacted like the Paramour so after a few mutterings I left it. Didn't mention it for at least 24 hours. Suddenly yesterday he said we cold book it provisionally.
So I would suggest you leave him to ponder. Men!