In some respects the Paramour and I buck the gender trends. In others, we're right on target. Take footwear. He has four pairs: trainers (summer wear), sandals (hot weather wear), boots (winter wear), and some black shoes for those occasional occasions. When one pair of any of those wears out, he scours the Internet for the same make and model, or as near as he can get, and buys them online.
I, however, have, er, not quite sure how many pairs, um, it's not like I have a separate wardrobe for them or anything but, well, I do have quite a few pairs of different types of footwear. Not as many as I would have if I didn't have size 9 feet - but several high street stores are now stocking shoes for Bigfoot Woman, so it's getting easier to find them. As a result, when one pair of mine wears out, what do I do? I go shopping. And you know what else? Sometimes I go shopping even when I haven't had a pair of shoes wear out recently.
Like the time I found myself in a factory surplus outlet type shop with an astonishing variety of good quality shoes at ridiculously cheap prices. I had a lovely time trying on all sorts of different ones, and ended up with three pairs of sandals and one pair of trainers for just £47. Not bad, eh?
I came home and proudly told the Paramour about my terrific haul.
'Four pairs of shoes!' I crowed. 'For £47! That's, er, not much per pair!'
He gave me the most withering look you can imagine and said, in utterly scathing tones,
'Have you counted your feet lately?'
Oh dear. He really doesn't get it, does he?